pirate captian bitch
Oh, look! It’s a page all about me! How nice. I feel so flattered that you would be interested in my past, you have no idea. Sit down and I’ll get you some … wait. I won’t know you are reading this. Well then, I guess there will be no tea, will there? Unless you ask for some.
All right, story time. I was born a little girl (as you might imagine, since I am now a little woman) on the Jade Isles. My mummy and daddy were good sorts of people who did good sorts of things and lived a little life where no one really minded them. Daddy made shoes and mummy made hats (silly practice, right? But I’ll tell you, once, one of those hats saved my life). I didn’t want to make hats or shoes so decided I would do something fun with my time. When I was thirteen and not much more than a little girl, I slipped into a place where a little girl never should have been; a pirate ship. The fellows were doing some illegal shoe exports and I was just big enough to fit in a properly sized shoe barrel (you can’t illegally export shoes in boxes! Everyone would expect that!) Finding me in a shoe barrel certainly set those men into a tizzy as it meant they had been cheated twelve pairs of shoes. It was decided that I would work to earn those shoes.
Let me tell you about the heaviness of buckets and mops. Those buckets get much lighter with a few holes cut in the bottoms. As do purses. When the shoe pirates docked, I slipped off the ship, about $150 gold richer. I had discovered a talent for sneaking things … and a love of song, wine, and tales. I sang in the pubs on Neasa, famous island of entertainment and alcohol. There, I bought my first ship at twenty and set sail with twelve of the … most driven young people in the whole of that place to make our fortune! Unfortunately, after a few years at sea, when I was but a young miss of 23, 100,000 gold went a little missing and I was mutinied and left for dead on an itty, tiny speck of nowhere island. It was after being rescued by some fantastic traders who happened to stop that I found myself in Kauzza working for the Lylh Albawn family. The don took a shying to my fantastic charms and gifted me with Ataullah and after rescuing The Jade Isles from some wicked imposter emperor, I now find myself with you lovely people.
Now, don’t let me down or I’ll kill you. :D